Hey readers of Traveling Trendy! Right off the bat, I want to let you know that this is one of the most honest and vulnerable posts I’ll probably ever write. I like to be a relatively private person, and being vulnerable is not one of my strong suits. It’s taken me a long time to get these words out, but it’s time to share about some of my experiences and why I needed to take some time for me.
As I’m sure some of you had noticed, I took a bit of a hiatus from Traveling Trendy, especially my website. It wasn’t because I lost my passion or lost my love of writing or traveling or style. It was because for my own personal mental health, I needed to step away and focus on me again. I needed to find myself, and I was forced into a process I wasn’t quite ready for.
Just over 6 months ago, I went through a really difficult experience and life change. It was something that completely blindsided me and something I wasn’t even slightly prepared for. I was ready to have the future I had been planning for with people I thought I could depend on. This future I pictured was so clear and vivid and vibrant, and I honestly couldn’t wait for the rest of my life with this incredible future I thought I had.
But in an instant, everything changed.
The future I thought was so solid was ripped out from under my feet. It was painful, and it was sudden. I felt embarrassed, hurt, immense loss and anger all at the same time. It hurt worse than anything I’d ever physically gone through. Because emotions can hurt worse than any physical pain. I felt broken, I felt played, and even worse, I felt utterly and truly alone.
I was forced to look into the mirror for the first time in a while and ask “who am I with all of this removed?” I didn’t know the answer to this question, because for so long, I was defined by the very thing that was so quickly taken away. For me, this was the beginning of a journey to find that answer. And to do that, I needed almost complete radio silence.
Over the course of 6 months, the noise was constantly brought back by information people felt I needed to know to try to help me cope with the situation I found myself in. Information that once digested, hurt more than the initial loss. But I knew that I was still searching for that answer of who I was, and needed to keep pushing to find it.
This process was difficult and something I wasn’t quite ready to face. Yet because of the cards I had been dealt, I was able to go through a wonderful (yes, wonderful) process of finding myself again. Though the healing time was some of the most difficult I’ve experienced, what came on the other side was a beautiful realization of self, and for the first time in a long time, living my life for one person and one person only; me.
I want to share some self-reflections that really resonated with me throughout this time. Because to anyone going through a difficult time, remember that you aren’t alone.
1. Your support system is the most important thing you have. Use it
One of the most incredible realizations I found during this difficult time, is that I have the best support system in the world. Friends and family who love me and truly want nothing but my happiness. From sending a simple text to check in, to others driving from different states just to give me a hug and listen to me for a night, I realized how truly blessed I was to have a support system that would hold me up until I could stand on my own two feet again.
2. Never let anyone make you question yourself worth
Something I’ve learned is an idea that seems so simple, but takes a lot of time to grasp. No one can make you feel a certain emotion or have a certain reaction or view of yourself. You alone can choose how you see yourself, how you react to certain situations, and how you feel. Even though some people can’t see the incredible person you see in the mirror, don’t let their view of you ever doubt yourself. You deserve the world, and if someone doesn’t see that, then it’s their loss.
3. You can never love someone too much.
This one is something I can’t believe I had to overcome. Being told you love someone too much seemed like a massive blow to me. Loving someone too much? All I know how to do is give my entire 110% to someone. Because for me, giving 50% isn’t an option. So, when I was told I loved too much, it felt like an insult and something I needed to change about me. But the more I reflected, the more I realized that one day, I would be the recipient of being loved too much, and it would be the most wonderful thing in the world. It isn’t a negative quality, and won't be used that way in my own narrative.
4. You are enough.
Again, this was one of the hardest and most difficult lessons I had to learn to overcome. I kept questioning over and over again what I could have done differently, what I needed to change about myself to appeal to someone else, or things I could have said or done differently that may have made myself enough. But in the end, I realized that I am who I am, and I am enough. Even though people may tell you that you aren’t enough, trust me, you are. And the right people recognize that.
Though it wasn’t easy and it took a lot of tears, wine and self-reflecting, I can honestly say I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. Because I realized I don’t need certain things or people to define who I am or define my happiness. I don’t need certain things or people making me feel inadequate and like I’m not enough. I’m done with being compared to this person and that person and told I loved too much or wasn’t doing this right or that right. And most important, I know that someone’s actions don’t define my character or my future.
To my support system, and you know who you are, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I wouldn’t have been able to find my voice again without you all. And I owe you the world.
To those reading this, thank you for your continued support. It means everything to me.
Traveling Trendy is something I started as a passion project, and a platform I could pour my heart and soul into. It’s a creative outlet for me to share what I love with people who love the same things as me, and a way for me to help people feel more empowered when they travel. I love being able to give people advice and recommendations on places they want to visit, and I look forward to continuing to grow every day to better empower those who are Traveling Trendy.
So, to answer your final question. Who am I? I’m a confident, independent, and strong woman who loves to work out, loves her job, loves to travel and help style her friends, and someone who loves harder than anyone you know. I’m a fiercely loyal friend who occasionally binges on too much Real Housewives or The Office. I’m a loving daughter and sister, a coach and a mentor, and most importantly, I am me.
Much love, Morgan